On Thin Ice
by xoChantelly
Summary: Spike sure does love to annoy Buffy, doesn't he? With this little stunt, he is sure to get a reaction out of her!


Author's Notes:

Just a short little oneshot, intended for a few smiles. It's unbeta'd, as I've been out of the game for awhile, but I hope it's minimal with the errors. Hope you enjoy!

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_July 30th, 2000_

Buffy Summers.

What a bitch.

What an amazing, strong, beautiful, sexy, wondrous bitch.

I hate her.

But I love her.

Oh, God, do I love her.

Not a single day goes by that I don't think of her in some way. Her shiny blonde hair, flowing around her shoulders. Her silky skin, so tan and smooth. Her perfect mouth and her tongue, darting out to moisten her sweet lips. The way her breasts bounce when she kicks my ass. Or any creature of the night for that matter.

I watch her, you see. Constantly. Sometimes I know she knows I'm there, but she ignores me. However, other times, when she is so focused on her patrolling, so concentrated on slaying the next demon that crosses her path, she doesn't realize I'm watching. And that's when she really moves. Moves like the bloody wind, she does, kicking and punching her way to survival.

Balls, she has me spouting poetry already. I hate her so much.

And then I see her. Entering the cemetery with every intent on saving the world, one soddin' vamp at a time, and I realize just how much she means to me.

Everything...

But lord knows how much I love to piss her off...

"Spike!" Buffy hollered as she pounded on the door to his crypt. She tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge, even with her slayer strength.

"What's the magic word, Slayer?" he said tauntingly, knowing just how to push her buttons.

"Oh, give it up. Why can't I come in?"

"Like I said, you need to say the magic word. I'm afraid you're gettin' it wrong."

"You're on thin ice, Spike. Open this damn door, or I will break it down."

"Like you could," he whispered, wondering just how long the spell would actually hold against her slayer strength. "Go on, give it a go, then. I'd like to see you try."

He heard a round of kicks and punches, along with some ugly curse words coming out of her pretty mouth, until she finally gave up with a barely audible sigh. "What the hell is this, Spike?"

"I told you, didn't I?" he called out then waited a moment, seeing if she'd remember. If she even listened to him, that is. "I told you that if you didn't stop bargin' in on my personal space, I'd have to do something to stop you. An' since I can't do anything physical to you, I went the easier, less painful way."

"What do you mean?" she asked. Was that a... hint of fear in her voice? Curiosity? It didn't matter, this moment was to delicious to dwell on the small things.

"I put a little spell on my crypt, you see. A sort of an 'Invite Only' thing. Kind of like the way us vampires need an invite into your safe little houses." He wouldn't mention that it only lasted a couple hours. He wanted to see how long it would take. And how annoyed she'd get. The way her face got all red, and the fire in her eyes was just so... adorable.

"Spike, I swear to God, if this becomes a big thing around the vampire community, I'm going to..."

"Yeah, yeah, you're going to stake me good and proper. Sing me a new one, won't you, Slayer?" Spike crossed his crypt quietly, knowing the possibility that she could be listening through the door. He went to the mini-fridge and took out the block of butter he'd stolen earlier.

"Well, I was only trying to see if you'd like to help me with something," he heard her say as he unwrapped the butter silently. "There will be compensation of the money variety..."

That got his attention. He started to rub the butter on a sheet of metal he'd found at Angel's old mansion, then laid it out on the floor in front of the door. "Well then, Slayer. I think I could let you in for a minute to discuss the situation. But I'm revoking the invite, once this is all squared away. Gotta teach you a lesson, yeah?"

Careful to not step on the buttered floor, Spike opened the door and invited her in. "Well, there is this new demon in tow–"

Buffy let out a high pitched squeal as she slipped on the buttered surface, falling backwards onto her butt with a loud, metallic thud. Spike couldn't help but laugh. Hard.

"Spike, what the hell is your problem? I could have gotten seriously hurt!"

"Oh, come on, Slayer. It's harmless fun."

"What if I'd cut myself, you jerk! I could have gotten any number of infections from this dirty thing!" she said as she tried to push herself up, only to slip once more. "Where the hell did you get this thing? The dump. Great, I'm going to get, like, pink eye or something."

Spike rolled his eyes and sighed. He'd forgotten the stupid chit didn't have a funny bone in her body. "For your information, Slayer, I got it at Angel's old haunt. And I washed it before I even brought it in here. I'd never actually hurt you, you know. Anyway, what's a little prank between sworn enemies, huh?" he snickered and held out a hand to help her up. "I didn't think you'd get this angry about it..."

He tried to hold in more laughter as she glared at him. "Okay, you're right. I knew. But it was still hilarious."

Quicker than he could blink, he was on his back with a bruise forming under is right eye. "And yet, still worth it."

Buffy groaned and put her hands on her hips. "God, you're so... so... insufferable!"

"Ooooh, good one. Learn that one from Rupes, didn'tcha?"

"Ugh!" Buffy groaned.

"So, about that money..."

Buffy rolled her eyes and stormed out of the crypt, needing nothing more than to get away from the pesky vampire, who was so obviously determined to piss her off. And succeeding.

Spike watched her run away, her hair swaying behind her. He went over everything that'd just happened, making sure he had it imprinted in his memory. Sure, he was out a couple of bills, but he never wanted to forget the look of pure shock all over her face as she fell, and how quickly it turned into anger once she'd realized what happened.

He laughed again, and touched his increasingly swollen eye. "Oh, yeah, definitely worth it." He chuckled as he got up to close the door.

**The End**

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End Notes:

*snickers* Reviews? I'll love you forever!


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